Happy Monday, babes!
Unfortunately, today is a little less happy than usual. Should I give you the bad news or the good news first? Let’s start with the bad and just get it out of the way, shall we?
Sadly, I don’t have a blog post for you today. And to make matters worse, there may not be any new posts for the next month or two either. Lemme explain.
Life right now is kind of overwhelming me. Thankfully nothing particularly bad has happened, it’s just that as I mentioned in a previous post, a LOT is going on in my world. With my work, my health, my relationships, my family life, my future plans and my spiritual life. Currently, I’m struggling to find peace and serenity in any aspect, even the latter. It’s just a bit all over the place. And TBH, so am I.
Two weeks from now, I will be taking on a second job (alongside my P.A. position) for the summer/holiday season here in NZ. Mostly so I can invest more into my blog and partially because I see a lot of travel on the horizon and I need to save for all the counselling sessions I’m gonna need after boarding long-haul flights. Kidding. Kinda. But in all seriousness, from now until the New Year, I’m gonna be run off my feet busy.
There has also been some talk lately, of me potentially meeting my birth father, brother, sisters, step mum, grandparents and other immediate family members for the first time. Ever. A journey which will no doubt be amazing, daunting and poignant all at once. It may be over six months away yet, but even the idea of this alone is taking up the vast majority of my mental real estate. Meanwhile, whatever’s left of it, is being consumed by other colossal life decisions that will surely send me careening down new trajectories and new paths. Is this what adulting feels like?? I’m not sure I’m a fan.
Naturally, while being so preoccupied with all of this emotional processing and “figuring stuff out”, my blog has been unintentionally put on the back burner. A place I never wanted it to be and a place I’ve fought to steer clear of. But it pains me to admit that for the past few weeks, I have not enjoyed blogging. Mondays seemed to be only a day apart and my weeks have been merging into one another without enough free time or headspace to think, focus or write (hence the shorter content). It’s been a struggle, you guys. And if there’s one thing I refuse to do, it’s to put out content solely for the sake of putting out content. I’m far too passionate of a person to do anything half-assed. I want to write because I feel inspired to, and hope by doing that, I can inspire you also.
Speaking of inspiration, I’ve had a serious lack of it as of late. During this season, I’ve been finding myself seeking more spiritually and feeling a shift in my priorities. Questions have been arising regarding what I genuinely hope to achieve in life, my goals and the things that matter to me most. I’ve been contemplating the vision for my blog, the content I feel called to create and the message I long to share. I’ve found myself at somewhat of a crossroads. Basically having a quarter-life crisis… or an existential one (pray 4 me).
The good news, however – is that I haven’t fallen out of love with blogging. You guys are still my whole heart. My brain is forever ticking over an endless string of ideas. There is so much more I want to share with you, and I couldn’t be more excited for the future. I think all I’m trying to say here, is that I just need a minute to get my sh*t together. And although I’m writing this message with both reluctance and guilt, I’m also trying to remind myself that while this little site may be the centre of my universe, it’s not the centre of yours. Most of you probably couldn’t care less if I fall off the face of the earth for a while haha. So I’m gonna allow myself the self-care and grace to do just that… and hope you’ll understand. If you don’t see me on your Insta feeds it’s because I’m out hugging trees and trying to find my zen. Either that or running around like a headless chicken working in a retail store over Christmas 😂
I’m not setting a date for my return, but I’ll be sure to update you on social media when I’m back. Hopefully with a little more clarity, focus and eagerness to write.
Look after yourselves while I’m gone, won’t you?
See you soon(ish)!